LOVE ONE ANOTHER WITH FORGIVENESS

LOVE ONE ANOTHER WITH FORGIVENESS

by Pastor Mark Taylor

“It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not.  They are new every morning: great is Thy Faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3: 22-23)

FORGIVENESS is another way we can “Love One Another”.  I know this is a difficult thing to do, but it is necessary in our relationship with our Heavenly Father.  Forgiveness is not about letting someone else get away with a past hurtful act against you, it is about you letting it go so God can give you happiness.  “If you forgive those who sin against you, your Heavenly Father will forgive you.  But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Matthew 6:14-15).

Someone has said: “If you always do what you have done, you will always get what you always got”.  Some people get caught up in a cycle of doing the same thing over and over again and they will continue to get the same results.  Some people find themselves in a cycle of lack of forgiveness, bitterness, and fear.   Forgiveness can break the cycle of blame and pain.   “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear”. (1 John 4:18).

Feeling like you are the victim and blaming others for failures in your life will not allow you to put your past behind you. Change your response to failure by accepting God’s power in you to forgive.  To move forward today, you must learn to say good-bye to yesterday’s hurts, tragedies, and negative events.

A memory is a memory is a memory - and there is no healthy way to erase it.  It is history and no one can go back and undo it.  You cannot simply talk a problem to death, but the Holy Spirit can teach you how to forgive.  You can rise above your anger by funneling your mental energy into your spirit and intellect.   They can create new meaning out of old memories.  Forgiveness will bless you with an inner security and give you an unexpected sense of personal power.  Our emotions should not be controlled by the actions of others.

Remember you have been forgiven many times for mean things you have done toward God.   You have sinned by sins of commission or by omission, but He has forgiven you.  “This is the covenant that I will make with them...says the Lord.  I will put my laws into their hearts, and in their minds will I write them.  And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more.” (Hebrews 10:15-16). 

We need to get the emotional power to forgive, and to stop torturing ourselves with the question: “Why Me?”. Everyone has losses in life.   Many people blame God for things He has nothing to do with.  When there is a great loss in your life through a death, or broken relationship, or loss of a job, God is not responsible. The source of loss is the free will God has given to us and others.  Jesus said:  “Satan has come to kill, steal, and destroy, but I have come that you might have life, and have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10). 

If you have anger toward God, you need to ask for forgiveness for misdirecting your anger.  God can handle it, but if you continue to blame Him, you will cut your self off of the future blessings and happiness He wants to give you.  God does not do to things to His children that are harmful or hurtful. There is an evil power in this world called Satan who deserves the blame for death, hurt, and loss. 

STRATGIES TO USE IN FORGIVENESS

Stop Hating those who have hurt you. It doesn’t mean you have to become their friends or hang out with them. But wanting revenge is not God’s plan for His children. “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto God’s wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.” (Romans 12:19)  It is a medical fact that hate or bitterness will cause you mental and physical problems.  Forgiveness benefits you even if others do not accept your apology or attempt to make things right.  It will set you free emotionally and open your heart to receive love.

Stop Thinking about it.  When you begin to think of the person or situation that has caused you to become bitter or angry, change your thinking.  Instead of feeling sorry for yourself and playing the victim card, begin to think of how blessed you are now and focus on how good your future can be.  Tell yourself to change the subject within your mind. “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.”  (Philippians 4:8).  The more you practice this the sooner you will have victory over the negative energy that comes from a lack of forgiveness.

Stop Talking about it.  I often hear people tell me what they have told many other people regarding what someone has done to them.  Repeating  the offense over and over again will never change the past situation or give you any peace in your life. There are many books, sermons, and counselors that can help you to move past your hurt.  The Bible says:  “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart Be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer.”  (Psalm 19:14)

Stop Forgetting how good has been to you.  Remember how much and how many times you have been forgiven by God and others.  There is a saying:  “To err (make a mistake) is human, but to forgive is Divine.”  Paul had a lot of things to be bitter about, but this is what he said: “This one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead.” (Philippians 3:13).

Start Believing that you can forgive. Quit saying: “I can’t forgive”. We have to pray with faith that He will give you this ability.  It may not happen immediately, but it will happen.  Everyday thank God that He is giving you the ability to forgive.  “But Jesus looked at them and said to them, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”  (Matthew 19:26).  “Jesus said to him, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” (Mark 9:23).

LOVE ONE ANOTHER WITH ACTS OF SERVICE

LOVE ONE ANOTHER WITH ACTS OF SERVICE

“This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” (John 15:12)

Acts of service, is doing things for others that you would want them to do for you. Our Lord and Savior said this: “Therefore, whatever you want people to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 7:12).  You can show your love to others by doing things for them.  Love is not just a feeling, it is action.  “My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue only, but in deed and in truth” (1 John 3:18).

The “Love Language” of “acts of service” is something the Lord Jesus Christ both demonstrated and taught us to do. “So when He had washed their feet, taken His garments, and sat down again, He said to them, "Do you know what I have done to you? "You call me Teacher and Lord, and you say well, for so I am. "If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet.” (John 13:12-14).  Today, in our society, we do not demonstrate or love for each other with this custom,  but there are many ways we can “wash each other’s feet” through loving each other with tangible acts of love and service.

One of the meanings for the Hebrew word for love in the Old Testament is “to give”.  It is more concerned about giving than receiving.  This love isn’t about getting some feeling or satisfaction.  It is about giving devotion and time.  Giving is God’s vehicle of love.  “For God so loved - He gave His only begotten Son…” (John 3:16).  It is not an emotion, but an action.  It is love or kindness toward people and showing people mercy and kindness.

Many people are locked into “gender” gaps and “generational” gaps which identify and limit them in the types of service that they are willing to give to those they love.  For instance, some men will not wash the dishes, because their dads never washed the dishes.  They view that service as something the wife should always do.  Some women feel that it is the husband’s job to take out the trash and wash the car.  

When we allow ourselves to think and live the way our parents did, we limit our capacity to show our love to others with acts of service.  “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.” (Philippians 2:3).  Remember there are no rewards for maintaining stereotypes, but there are tremendous benefits to meeting the emotional needs of those you love.  You may do a lot of things right, but if you don’t do it with love, you will not meet the needs of those who need your love. “And though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.” (1 Corinthians 13:1-3)

Loving each other with acts of service is not limited to the husband and wife relationships.  This command of “loving one another” applies to our friends, fellow Christian brothers and sisters, children, and grandchildren. It is a love language that should be spoken by each of us to each other.  Love is a choice and cannot be demanded or manipulated.  “Each of us must decide daily to love or not to love each other.  This is true in all our relationships.

One of the best ways to express our love to the Lord is in “acts of service”.  “Serve the LORD with gladness; Come before His presence with singing.” (Psalms 100:2).  This includes attending worship services, giving, praying, and giving testimonies of His goodness.  “Oh, that men would give thanks to the LORD for His goodness, And for His wonderful works to the children of men!” (Psalms 107:8).   

Below are some simple “acts of service” we can do for each other and the Lord:

1. Be at church to show your love and support for each other and the Lord.
2. Visit the sick and home bound, and those in nursing homes.
3.   Prepare some food for someone who has lost a loved one or who has just had surgery and is at home sick.
4. Use your gifts and abilities to serve the Lord and others within the church. (teaching a class, watching the nursery, sing in the choir, repairing,  cleaning etc.).
5. Find a mission work outside of the church you can devote time to or donate money to help in their work for the Lord.
6. Ask others and the Lord the question: “Is there something I can do for you?”
7. Write a note or make a phone call to let them know you are “there for them”.
8. Invite someone to your home for a meal or take them out and pay for it.

You may feel that no one else has expressed the love language of “acts of service” toward you, and you may question why you should.  Remember, love is something you do because the Lord has already done it for you. “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8).  Demonstrating your love for others is not a matter of them deserving it or not, it is a matter of God’s grace in you.  “We love Him because He first loved us.” (1 John 4:19). Express to your loved ones that it is a way you feel loved when they do things for you.  One practical way to do this is for two people or a family to write down two to three things they can do for each other to make each one feel more loved.  You can show your love for God by showing your love one another in “acts of services”. "By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."  (John 13:35).  It is a testimony to your family, your friends, your church family, and most of all to your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.” (1 John 4:7).